My son's "why I like Judaism"

"Dad, I've finally figured out why I like Judaism better than Christianity"

"Oh, why's that?"

"Christianity teaches that people aren't good, have never been good, and aren't capable of getting any better, so why even bother trying? Judaism teaches that people aren't perfectly good, and nobody ever has been, but that we can be better people and so it is worth trying to fix our problems and do good in the world – in fact, we're commanded to do our best to be good people and do good in the world."

Now, before I go one word further, I want to stress that my son came up with that last paragraph entirely on his own. You shouldn't applaud me for an excellent job of indoctrination, nor can you upbraid me for instilling a narrow view of Christianity, because these words come from his own experiences, not from anything I've taught the boy. 

Yes, I know that not all Christians would agree with the ideas of original sin, total depravity, and human imperfectability that my son attributes to the entire Christian religion. But, clearly, enough Christians have taught him those ideas that they became embedded in his internal definition of "Christian," which (I shall remind readers) was his self-definition as little as a year ago. 

How did this internal definition get formed? Through years of Sunday school classes and youth group meetings and occasional talks at youth events, and entirely in spite of what he heard about Christianity from his then-Christian parents. Somehow, from peers and people who those peers influenced him to respect, Ryan got some pretty low opinions of what you could expect from people. You know, like himself. 

I steered clear from most of Ryan's Sunday schools and youth group meetings in the interest of giving a preteen a little space away from Dad, but I accompanied him on a mission trip once. I found myself appalled as, during one worship experience after another, a series of people introduced to me as the region's best youth group leaders kept drilling into their charges' heads the idea that people are worthless, incapable screw-ups – except for the rare moment when God (in the guise of the Holy Spirit, of course) intervenes to guide them into doing something good. 

The whole point of this negative indoctrination, I realize, was to build a sense of reliance on God-in-Jesus-Christ and God-the-Holy-Spirit. I know this because I heard it so often in Seminary that I wanted to vomit. How can we be truly grateful for what Jesus Christ did to save our souls unless we appreciate what lousy shape our souls are in and how incapable we are of saving them ourselves? And how can we be properly reliant on and sensitive to the guidance of the Holy Spirit unless we know how completely incapable we humans are of finding our way out of a moral-ethical paper bag without that guidance?

How, indeed? Somehow, the Jews manage.

What I want to impress here on any Christians who may be reading this post, or on any Jews who may be wondering "what practical difference does our religion make?", is that all of this negative indoctrination took a tremendous toll on my son's self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. In other words, he saw himself as a worthless person (because he was taught that all people are worthless until "redeemed" by Jesus) and he saw himself as incapable of improving his own situation or that of his world, so he lost the will to do, well, practically anything. He tried to fail out of school. He talked about wanting to die. 

Did Jesus swoop in and save him? 

No, but a passel of Reform Jews did. 

And I thank God for all of them. 

Clearly, from a year's exposure to a small set of Reform Jews and a handful of songs heard on Jewish Rock Radio or the Maccabeats YouTube channel, my son has gotten the idea that Jews believe both in the ability and the obligation of human beings for self-improvement and for doing good in the world. And the practical impact of this on him and his behavior has been nothing less than stunning, as I have seen this boy take more responsibility for improving his own behavior, life, and work – both at home and at school – in the past few months than for years before now. 

Obviously, increasing maturity has something to do with this, but the change has seemed to me too fast for it to be purely a cognitive development thing. At least one external factor has been at play. And the best fit to the available data is to say "score one for the Jews". 

And that is one more reason I am a Jew.