What I've gotten from being an everyday Jew

It's been a while since I've written a blog post. Partly, that's because it's been a while since I've felt I had anything to write about. Lately, being Jewish just hasn't been a central focus of my attention: no holidays being celebrated this month, no new religious practices being integrated into my life, in short: no news. Either that means I'm doing something wrong, or it means I'm doing something very right in letting Judaism become part of the background hum of my life: the new normal, as it were.

You see, more so than any other religion I have been part of, Judaism isn't something you do once or twice a week and besides that maybe ponder once in a while. No, Judaism stakes a claim on every moment of your life in one way or another. In a way, Judaism is less something you do and more something you are. Something you become. The wonder of that is that over time you get so used to it that all of those religious practices that once required great intention to incorporate into your life will, over time, become just-the-way-we-do-things. Saying hamotzi over bread and minei mezonot over the main course? Just how we start a meal. Frantic housecleaning and a trip to the store for challah and wine/juice? Just how we spend our Fridays now. Sh'ma Yisrael and V'ahavta ... isn't that what everybody sings and chants to their kids before bed?

In fact, I had almost gotten to the point of saying there wasn't anything else to write about, when I heard my oldest kid tell me how his conservative-Christian-enough-to-protest-evolution English teacher quizzes him about how he understands the Bible (you know, as a Jew). And I realized that there are a lot of things besides daily religious practices that I've gotten from being a Jew.

In other words, I came for a religion that fit me better (and I found it), but what I got is...

  • a new rhythm of life. Friday afternoons are for frantic preparation for Friday nights. Friday nights are for synagogue or for a formal(ish) dinner at home, followed by family time. Saturdays are for so many things to do as a family, and especially for Torah, but no longer for work or shopping. Sunday mornings are still for Sunday school, but Sunday afternoons are my new prep-for-work time. It works.
  • a new set of stereotypes and assumptions. One former student asked if I "feel cheaper" now that I'm a Jew. Another said "no offense" and then called a coworker "so Jewish" over her penny-pinching. Another person wondered if we wear orthodox/chasidic hats and black jackets when we go to Synagogue. I'm never sure what to say.
  • a new reading list. Becoming Jewish, Jewish Literacy, and Essential Judaism are obvious new-Jew choices. Less obvious are American Judaism and O Jerusalem. And I keep meaning to read a good Jewish novel or two!
  • a new role as spokesperson. As the only Jew most of my acquaintances know, I find myself being asked to speak for all Jews everywhere more often than I'd like (which is to say, I'd rather not ever). See my earlier note about my kid and his teacher.
  • a new relationship with my kids. With a religion that tells us we are good people, shows us ways to do teshuva when we've hurt one another, and replaces the one-perfect-person role model with dozens of imperfect-person role models, I find I have a lot more material to help me raise good kids, in a healthy family, feeling good about themselves and their place in the world. And with one day a week mandated to not be a workaholic, I find that I have more time to build that relationship. And that relationship certainly is building!


    • Thank you, Judaism, for all of these new things in my life. May I learn not to take them for granted!

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