Monthly Digest 1: pre-history of the "first Jewish year"
I put my "big thoughts" on Judaism up on this blog once a week or so, but I also post lots of "littler thoughts" on Facebook almost every day. It occurred to me that this blog would be a better resource for people-interested-in-Judaism (and for me to look back on in years to come) if I were to post a digest (of sorts) on this blog for the world to see what the day-to-day experience of becoming Jewish lives like. I have included comments where they seemed to add important insights, but anonymized the names to protect the innocent (and the guilty as well)...
JUNE 29, 2015 - the post that started this journey
So the only progressive, gay-friendly church in my area has a strong anti-Christian feel to it, but all of the Christian churches in my area are either vocally or silently anti-liberal and anti-gay. I *could* drive 40 minutes on occasional Sunday mornings to attend worship at an ONA UCC church or a Friends Meeting, but could never practically be a part of that community's life outside of Sunday morning. So I find myself, just as the LGBT community gets its biggest victory ever, having no religious community to celebrate it with. Yes, there is Facebook, but that doesn't seem an adequate substitute for an in-person community to me these days. Thoughts?
JULY 10, 2015 - I first set foot in a synagogue
JUNE 29, 2015 - the post that started this journey
So the only progressive, gay-friendly church in my area has a strong anti-Christian feel to it, but all of the Christian churches in my area are either vocally or silently anti-liberal and anti-gay. I *could* drive 40 minutes on occasional Sunday mornings to attend worship at an ONA UCC church or a Friends Meeting, but could never practically be a part of that community's life outside of Sunday morning. So I find myself, just as the LGBT community gets its biggest victory ever, having no religious community to celebrate it with. Yes, there is Facebook, but that doesn't seem an adequate substitute for an in-person community to me these days. Thoughts?
lots of comments discussing pros and cons of UU, Episcopal, ELCA, Unity, MCC churches - BC: Please don't take this the wrong way, but give the area in which you find yourself, perhaps it's time to rethink the 'church thing' and internalize the God/Christ thing, or at least make it a family thing. Perhaps form a community with like minded friends. Just a thought.
- me: I don't take that the wrong way at all, BC, and in fact I've had similar thoughts. I'm far from being a "pure Christian" anyway - more like a Universalist Christian Buddhist Quaker of sorts. I had a professor in seminary who told me the problem he saw with me wanting to become a local-church-pastor was that I am "a bit of a mystic, and Mystics move" from one religious expression to another since none of them ever seem to fit right for long.
So maybe I should give up on a church community. Or maybe not. There are two problems I have to troubleshoot there.
The first is that after three years of living here, I have yet to make any friends to do anything with, much lessen ought of them to "form a community." This is changing, but in my part of the world church is still by far the most common way people find "their" people. I'm sure there *are* community theater or photography or concert band or hockey or what-have-you groups like I joined in beloved Beantown, but they are hidden in plain sight - nowhere near as well advertised as the churches, for sure! - and after three years of looking I still don't know where to look. I'm not certain that an interest group of that sort would be any guaranteed improvement, anyway - after all, even in the science department at my college I'm forced to be a closeted liberal!
And then, my job requires me to teach certain nights, which makes the predictability of Sunday morning attractive. And I have special-needs, high-demand kids, and churches have built-in stuff for your kids to do. Whether you approve of their religious functions or not, churches are purpose-built community builders. And so, I keep looking to some church-type-group to help me build the community that I have been utterly unable to build for myself in three years of living here.
The second problem is that I *am* a religious person. I know the fashion these days is to declare oneself "spiritual but not religious" and decry "organized religion" while you go commune with nature or people-watch on the esplanade or whatever floats your personal self-sufficient boat. But I'm not that. I value the religious part and not just the spiritual part. I value the rituals that mark the passage of time and of life stages, that welcome newcomers and let old comers share their lives, that tell a greater story of what-it's-all-about than consumerism and all-important self-sufficient individuality, that foster a spirit of love and of seeking justice. I know those aren't the faces of religion you see plastered on the nightly news, but I really doubt most people go to church looking for bigotry and fear.
But the point is that I value the things that a religion does, and the way it gets you doing them *with other people* and that's why I keep looking. - BC: This all makes great sense, James. There is no question that churches, of whatever kind, provide instant community, especially once the kids are out of the playgroup stage. Here's any idea - radical I know: reform Jewish? Same God, just childless. Leave the Son at home, get God and community with the Tribe. Liberal. First novel's the same, but no sequal.
- me: you have such a way with words! Actually, I talked with a Conservative Jewish roommate once about "becoming Jewish" (or at least attending a Jewish community once in a while), and he tried to talk me out if it. Said that Jewish communities are typically not that into outsiders who don't "get" their largely-hereditary culture coming in. I asked if that applied to Reform Jews as well and he replied "oh, I thought you wanted to be *Jewish*!"
- me: And as far as I'm aware, BD, the first novel may not have a Jewish sequel, but it has accumulated several volumes of post-script!
- BC: Which actually is precisely why I suggested reform, which is more about outlook and behavior than rules.....I am a non-practicing, untrained member of the Tribe, but once, for reasons I wont go into here, I was considering getting involved with a Conservative congregation, and a friend had me read her kids 'sunday school' books. I really liked what I read - Jews tithe for the community? Who knew. There is no heaven or other payoff for being good - instead you are expected to do good and behave rightously because it is the right thing to do! Love that! But I told my friend that I had a problem with "the God thing." She said 'no problem - questioning is good.' Okay, I said, but I have a problem with the concept of "chosenness" - and that she said was non-negotiable. I pointed out that Hitler thought he and his ilk were chosen, as has pretty much every force of evil in the world, which ended my romance with my religious roots. Howver, I thing that reform Judaism is pretty much UCC without Jesus....LOL! Or Unitarianism
- me: Actually, I happen to know a liberal rabbinical answer to the "chosenness" problem, which I happen to like. The Jews, this answer goes, were not chosen for special privilege or to dominate the world or even their corner of it - the evil force version of chosenness - they were chosen to be stewards of the world, to be custodians of God's message of what justice and goodness look like, and to share that message with the nations of the world through their voices and their actions. To, in the words of the prophet Micah, "do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly".
JULY 10, 2015 - I first set foot in a synagogue
On the advice of my dear friend BC, I finally got up the courage to attend a Jewish Shabbat service tonight. It really spoke to me (and the people *really* spoke to me - for about an hour after the prayers ended!) and, even though my Hebrew is a bit rusty, I really heard things I've been needing to hear in the prayers and the songs. Oddly enough, I fit in so well that I actually had to tell people that I'm not Jewish (at least not yet). Maybe a step toward finding home.
So, Shabbat Shalom, y'all!
- KW: mazel tov
- BP: A Reform synagogue?
- me: Yes, though someone told me their rabbi is Conservative (and that the Conservative synagogue a few streets down has a Reform rabbi!)
- BP: the two movements usually cooperate well together. For me, Reform is more progressive and has a lot more English which I appreciate.
- me: I seem to recall you were one of the best in the class at Hebrew, though
- BP: And the Hebrew comes quickly anyway once you get familiar with the liturgical structure of the service. You find yourself saying or chanting it even when you are doing other things. And Reform allows for a wide diversity of religious belief. Some in our congregation are atheistic or humanistic Jews, others are more theistic.
- JR: I worked for a rabbi for years, as their Nanny. One of my favorite parts of the job was Shabbot, and holidays. I went with the mom and kids to services, walking each way. Dinner was after Friday services, back at the house, usually with guests. And, a lot of prayers preceded the meals, possibly making the food much better. How the children can't wait for the challah! The occasional chocolate chip challah flown in from New York.
I miss that rhythm to my weeks, and learning so intimately about a different culture. - JR: Also, the temple they were at was super accepting/relaxed about children, and children's roles during services, which I'd never experienced before.
- my wife: Ryan is currently interrogating James Camp about the service and bar/bat mitzvahs. (Apologies if that should be capitalized - I have seen it lower case but am not sure it it is context-sensitive.)
- JR: I attended a lifetime worth of bar/bat mitzvahs, during Saturday services.
The boys need to know that they typically throw marshmallows tied in little fabric squares during them. all of the children collect them, and slyly munch on them. The Torah portion isn't too long. And, normally they serve a good meal after, and later that evening a great party. - my wife: (I'm sick, or we would have joined James.)
- friend of BC: Good luck on your journey.
- JS: Interesting. Good to have the experience.
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